Never was
Not yet fully-'recovered'. I find it hard to concentrate on my study lately. Though it was nice to have a brief chat with my mum yesterday, this happiness fades away when the conversation ended. Back to reality.
'I never was'.
Been through this unreal situation where I think I was something. Thought I am part of something important in others' life, yet I am not. I thought I was, but I never were. Why do I have this thrist of being 'included'? I should just tell myself, 'come on! Wake Up!'. There are bitter and sweet in every situation. SOmetimes I am so 'excluded' from something that I wish I would have been 'included' in..which turns me down. I thought, I am never someone who can light the fire..
But, there are times when I feel, I am much appreciated as a good friend (for certain people). Like one of my friend who had his Bday last Thurs, called me and asked me to join him for a drink...NICE!
'I thought I can help myself'
It turns out..I can't! I am trying to tell myself..I can compromise..I wish. It's hard to let go something that I don't want to let go. When I think I have everything people could have wish for..I realise, I own all those artificial things but never get something that I really need in my life. I never love myself enough..I never love somebody else enough..I never do enough for anyone. I am aiming for a reward, thus all these left me with disappointment! Which I wish..
:June
'I never was'.
Been through this unreal situation where I think I was something. Thought I am part of something important in others' life, yet I am not. I thought I was, but I never were. Why do I have this thrist of being 'included'? I should just tell myself, 'come on! Wake Up!'. There are bitter and sweet in every situation. SOmetimes I am so 'excluded' from something that I wish I would have been 'included' in..which turns me down. I thought, I am never someone who can light the fire..
But, there are times when I feel, I am much appreciated as a good friend (for certain people). Like one of my friend who had his Bday last Thurs, called me and asked me to join him for a drink...NICE!
'I thought I can help myself'
It turns out..I can't! I am trying to tell myself..I can compromise..I wish. It's hard to let go something that I don't want to let go. When I think I have everything people could have wish for..I realise, I own all those artificial things but never get something that I really need in my life. I never love myself enough..I never love somebody else enough..I never do enough for anyone. I am aiming for a reward, thus all these left me with disappointment! Which I wish..
:June
posted by June at 7:32 PM
1 Comments:
you can wake up from all these miserable thoughts. Hav faith in urself, like ppl hav in you. You might feel lost n damaged these days, but you mustnt forget you r never alone. See more things around you... Have those ppl leading a happier life than us? it's just us who can really pick up ourselves from all these distracting moments. Believe in urself tt u r more than just u thought u were... n dont push urself too hard.
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