Helo. 1st after 3 years off.

Dear You.
Just realised I have been busy with life outside virtual connection for almost 3 years now. Dunno who still reading this blog. Anyway...welcome back.
Life be normal, no more Uni life since 2008. Now work as Education Counsellor (going 2 years). And still waiting for my Permanent Residency to be approved by Department of Immigration and Citizenship Australia (Pray hard everyday).
Ups and downs..and I still survive. Just believe in me and I will have everything settled one day.

Love,
June

Those who inspire me

This is the post dedicated to those people who have inspired me (still do). I might not know some of them in person, but they earn my admiration.

:Denise Keller: She is one of the MTV Asia VJs. I always look up at those people who are comfortable with themselves. The life like a VJ will be like a dream comes true. Great job which offers great opportunities to travel, meet new people, socialize, and be part of the global citizen. Passionate, loveable, admireable, great personality, and great communicators, I guess I envy her (in a good motivating way though).

:Rose Desu: A friend that I hardly talk to. She is from Medan, like me. Secretly, I always browsed her creations through the internet. And secretly I have build this wish that one day I can be as creative, as fashionably fabulous like her. She is a friend's friend, and I doubt she remembers me. Nevertheless, I admire her. Her artistic photography also inspire me. She makes me believe that, you can actually shine with what you believe in regardless of the environment that bring you up till this point. Have faith in what you are doing, you'll success, although people around you might doubt your competencies.

:My Mum: Though sometimes, especially now, we have slight disagreements, I love you regardless. I realise one thing, people do change. I am, of course, not who I was 4 years ago. I know what I want, and I won't compromise others as much as I used to back then. Thus, I hope that this kinda new attitudes won't change my relationship with my family, especially my mum and dad.

:Those who hurt me, but have me learn something from the pain: Nothing much to say here. Maybe, to you, this will sound like 'blah blah blah'..but I do want to thank those who came to my life, and then went away from my life. I've learnt the good and the bad, I've been through the best and the worst time..and if not because of those, I will not BE where I am now. Nobody is perfect, including me. Thus, as what I often do, I close the old chapter, and I have open a new chapter of my life.

:June

Don't want to just into conclusion

I have been really busy with group assignments, and eventually individual assignments. Sometimes I wonder, how would I cope with heaps of errands when I am really in the workforce. Will I go crazy? I am sure, heaps of compromises needed to be made by the other party. Of course, it will be too naive to think that it will go smooth. I can only hope it could be stable.

It is nearly the end of the semester, the end of the year..and what's happening? Planning to go back to Indo in December, and if things go well in this trip, next year will be a whole new experience. Whatever the plans are, I pray for the best. And I hope that everything goes in a slightly predictable way.

:June

Whataver you like

Emotionally unstable. One day, I can be sooo flattered and happy, and one day I can be mentally drained. I need to be in control of my emotions. I am always in control of the things I want to be in control of, but now, I seem to slowly lose the grip. Can't let that happen though. My Uni has started, 3 weeks have gone so quickly. I am still catching up with the weekly readings. I really want to do good this time. Can't effort any failure. My future plan need to be strategically planned this time. And No more game playing. Need to achieve the goals in life. Not gonna let anybody screw my plans. Slowly, I will get whatever I have been procastinating.

Inability to communicate sometimes frustrates me. There is a slight potential of mis-trust, mis-understanding, mis-judgement, and so on. "confused with what to/NOT to do..to be/NOT to be part of..to/NOT to move forward" (anonymous, 2007)

NB: Beautiful Lily in the beautiful vase in your house, nicely located close to the window so that it gets the constant sunshine to stay alive, significantly it needs regular watering system by the owner to blossom in upcoming spring.

:June

Cynicism

There are things which need to be done, and they are done.
Finally, I moved in to the new apartment at Docklands. Now I have my own room, and my brother has his. The whole process had been frustrating. often, I jumped into my own conclusions and I got pissed off. Now I know, I can never depend on anybody BUT myself. However, there are still things that are not quite right yet in this new apartment. My housemate is still staying with me and my Bro. Temporarily he stays in the living room until he finds his new place. Thus, it isn't a ideal home I would have imagined it to be. Well...I hope it is soon, then I could really have it the way I want it to be.

I have been cynical too lately. I have changed. I couldn't care less about others who don't really care about how to value others. If they demand something, I could do the same thing too, can't I? I will not let others make me think that I am less good as a friend, as a sister, as a housemate, as an ex (gf or housemate), or as a friend's friend, etc. I remember once (or actually few occassions) when people tell me that I need to stand up for myself, be more firm, and do not let other 'dominate' me. When I think about it, it's true. I don't have to be nasty, I just have to have others respect your decisions. At this point, I realise, there is no point to keep trying to keep others happy, because no one can please everybody. Often, you will have disappointed somebody else. As long as I've tried your best to please them, aligning this attempt with what I feel like doing, it's good enough. It is hard to retain relationship. Thus, if I have tried, and it doesn't work with them, it's their lost.
(PS: 12.08.07)

:June