Included and excluded

I chatted with Martin yesterday for 1 1/2 hours, hhmm..yeah...too many things to talk about. I hope that his ears now are still capable of hearing. Wakka..He told me everything about what he thinks about Junilla. Ambivalent and selfish..the first two categories that I knew he would have said. I admit it..I am. Trying to be a better person indeed *winks*

Went to Melbourne Show ground on Saturday with Karni, Jackson and his friends. I've been there before, probably that's the reason why I am not too excited. But It was great fun. Coincidently, meet Irene and the gank too..Nice2. In this circumtances, I feel that I am 'included'. That sometimes brings me good mood. Yeah..a real mood-swinger -> ME.

Another 'sad' circumtance, I feel it now (Sat night, 7pm).Why do I need it so much, to be 'included' in a group. Always think,I am independent, am I not? But still, am I not good enough as a human being who needs social acceptance? Or am I someone who is too 'reserved', not opening up, that's why people find it so difficult to have me in the group? Or am I thinking too much? Is it the personality problem, or is it just meant to be like this? Not meant to be in the group, therefore, just let it be? Just accept the faith ?I hate it when all these questions come to me. I start questioning everything. I hate it when I am alone. So worthless.

Now...tick tock tick tock..blurred