Can't fight fate
I had 2 exams this week, Business Law and Economics, and I have one more to go. I really don't know how good or how bad I went with those exams. Normally when people have exams, they sort of know or can measure how well they go with the exams. Not this time for me. Not that I take any of this subjects for granted. I tried my best. An open-book exam and an exam-with-a-cheat-sheet, both didn't really help me to convince myself that they will get me good grade though.
'Was/AM such a fool?'.
Should there be any excuse for a secret kept from you? Well, I guess..everyone has their prerogative. Totally agree. But it doesn't work that well if the secret kept is actually something that you wish is not kept from you knowing. It hurts either way. Not knowing that the secret exists is as much hurting as the secret itself. If that something is seriously none of my business, e.g: if my best friend is dating someone without telling me, that's cool. I believe people have their own privacy. But what if the secret is somehow something to do with me? I feel like a fool. Though it might be none of my business, but in fact is I know what's the untold. One more thing, I don't need people to do me any favor. Though I feel left out, I'm fine. I start to think, when I don't fit in a group, I just don't fit in. Used to keep trying, but I guess, the effort I've put in has been forsaken. It would be best to maybe have our seperate life instead of to keep on insisting.
Been chatting online with a 'so-long-never-met-online' friend. Someone, who I guess, can sort of 'calm' me when I have doubts in my minds with his advices. I wish, we could have maintained the friendship without ever had that 'pause' period. Well, hopefully, it will stay now. I hate the ON and OFF friendships/relationships. Coz it impacts me too much. As I grow older, I wish I can be more friendly with 'reality'. So that I know things are never absolute. They come and go. As much as I love changes, I hate it when it comes to any kinda of relationships I have with people.
When thing goes wrong, the best thing to do is to find something else to blame for the error, of course besides ourselves. If we can't find anything else to blame, we will blame the situation. A friend of mine told me, I have to start changing the way I think, for my own sake. For those who know me well enough, I am still the sensitive June. Maybe it annoys you sometimes, I get annoyed too when I can't kinda 'control' this. Am trying. SO, please excuse me.
I am currently anticipating few things that I assume would happen soon. My Bro is coming in less than 1 month, so I am now looking for a new place to stay. I hope, I can find somewhere in the city, live-able for the two of us. WIth great deal, not too expensive. I am excited. Though at the same time, I need to prepare myself for adjustment. Been living in QV, with my three other housemates means a lot to me. I will miss the daily chit-chats we have. And the constant support when I need it.
Something big is coming in 2 weeks time. And I am anticipating that too. COz I know, there will be something planned for me from my housemates and friends. I knew it. Maybe..instead of they surprise me, I should surprise them. *winks*
:June
'Was/AM such a fool?'.
Should there be any excuse for a secret kept from you? Well, I guess..everyone has their prerogative. Totally agree. But it doesn't work that well if the secret kept is actually something that you wish is not kept from you knowing. It hurts either way. Not knowing that the secret exists is as much hurting as the secret itself. If that something is seriously none of my business, e.g: if my best friend is dating someone without telling me, that's cool. I believe people have their own privacy. But what if the secret is somehow something to do with me? I feel like a fool. Though it might be none of my business, but in fact is I know what's the untold. One more thing, I don't need people to do me any favor. Though I feel left out, I'm fine. I start to think, when I don't fit in a group, I just don't fit in. Used to keep trying, but I guess, the effort I've put in has been forsaken. It would be best to maybe have our seperate life instead of to keep on insisting.
Been chatting online with a 'so-long-never-met-online' friend. Someone, who I guess, can sort of 'calm' me when I have doubts in my minds with his advices. I wish, we could have maintained the friendship without ever had that 'pause' period. Well, hopefully, it will stay now. I hate the ON and OFF friendships/relationships. Coz it impacts me too much. As I grow older, I wish I can be more friendly with 'reality'. So that I know things are never absolute. They come and go. As much as I love changes, I hate it when it comes to any kinda of relationships I have with people.
When thing goes wrong, the best thing to do is to find something else to blame for the error, of course besides ourselves. If we can't find anything else to blame, we will blame the situation. A friend of mine told me, I have to start changing the way I think, for my own sake. For those who know me well enough, I am still the sensitive June. Maybe it annoys you sometimes, I get annoyed too when I can't kinda 'control' this. Am trying. SO, please excuse me.
I am currently anticipating few things that I assume would happen soon. My Bro is coming in less than 1 month, so I am now looking for a new place to stay. I hope, I can find somewhere in the city, live-able for the two of us. WIth great deal, not too expensive. I am excited. Though at the same time, I need to prepare myself for adjustment. Been living in QV, with my three other housemates means a lot to me. I will miss the daily chit-chats we have. And the constant support when I need it.
Something big is coming in 2 weeks time. And I am anticipating that too. COz I know, there will be something planned for me from my housemates and friends. I knew it. Maybe..instead of they surprise me, I should surprise them. *winks*
:June
posted by June at 12:33 AM
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