Once in a while I...
When you want something to work out, you need the effort. And if the effort is only one way, it can hardly work. I feel like, all the things i build, all the things i've done to make people happy but myself is bringing me down soon.
My Chinese New Year this year wasn't that bad. Although I didn't have the chance to spend it with the family back in Indo, I am glad that I spent it with my "family' in Melbourne. On the night before the Chinese New Year, we all had this Steam-boat at QV. My beloved extended QV family, my little Brother who is now already 18, and my plus-one. We didn't start the dinner until 9.15pm because one of the QV people, Dina, worked that night. And everyone decided to wait for her. =) That what I love about QV. We share love. When we need to be flexible, when we need to compromise and maybe sometimes make sacrifices, we do. All these will last only for a while. Some people are planning to go back for good after their graduation this year. And QV people will have to move too when their contract for the least of that apartment finishes. All I wanna do now is Cherish every moments I have with these people who become my 'family'.
Anyway, on the Chinese New Year, I went to temple in the morning. I wish it's my self-initiative, but it's actually not. HHmm...actually it's 50 50. HHmm..in the afternoon, the QV people and some friends went to have lunch at Dragon boat . We ate Yum Cha. I love the gathering. I love the atmosphere, not so much the glamour of this CNY celebration. On that day, it was too hot to go out after the Yum Cha. Thus, we ended up in QV, enjoyed the Air-Con, and just spent time chatting, hanging out with friends. I made a lot of phone calls too. I called up my mum and dad (sister too), a few times actually, but they sounded like not to into phonecalls...anyways, I called up my GrandPa too. Hope he is feeling better now after the last-week-unpleasant incident. I called up some close friends too. I hope everyone well back in Indo. Jeanne, i'll see you in March when I go to Singapore...miss u! Indeed, I do miss all the family gathering and all the cookies on CNY...
Life in general sucks. I never know that i would ask for a 'payback' or let's call it 'something in return'. Am I bad then? hhmm..I feel that no one has really appreciated what i've done. Let's not translate the previous statement literally. I mean, I just feel that I haven't done enough to be 'acknowledged'. I seldom feel the 'take and give' from some people, or should I just stop expecting them to? I feel that, all I've done is good enough, but it's never good enough in others' eyes. The apartment I live in is never 'good' enough to make my Bro want to spend most of his time in the house. The way I try to compromise other people's opinion never seem to be good enough to make them understand that I hate argument. And when I stand up for my voice, my opinion, it actually makes the other party unhappy with my doing which I hate. There are just too much of "well, June will be OK with this, she wouldn't have said No, she wouldn't have minded.." Or maybe I am just being too sensitive of all the things around me. I hate it too when people take me for granted. Just because I don't express my anger/upset all the time, that doesn't mean I do have them.
Dear you: ..don't wanna lose you now..
:June
My Chinese New Year this year wasn't that bad. Although I didn't have the chance to spend it with the family back in Indo, I am glad that I spent it with my "family' in Melbourne. On the night before the Chinese New Year, we all had this Steam-boat at QV. My beloved extended QV family, my little Brother who is now already 18, and my plus-one. We didn't start the dinner until 9.15pm because one of the QV people, Dina, worked that night. And everyone decided to wait for her. =) That what I love about QV. We share love. When we need to be flexible, when we need to compromise and maybe sometimes make sacrifices, we do. All these will last only for a while. Some people are planning to go back for good after their graduation this year. And QV people will have to move too when their contract for the least of that apartment finishes. All I wanna do now is Cherish every moments I have with these people who become my 'family'.
Anyway, on the Chinese New Year, I went to temple in the morning. I wish it's my self-initiative, but it's actually not. HHmm...actually it's 50 50. HHmm..in the afternoon, the QV people and some friends went to have lunch at Dragon boat . We ate Yum Cha. I love the gathering. I love the atmosphere, not so much the glamour of this CNY celebration. On that day, it was too hot to go out after the Yum Cha. Thus, we ended up in QV, enjoyed the Air-Con, and just spent time chatting, hanging out with friends. I made a lot of phone calls too. I called up my mum and dad (sister too), a few times actually, but they sounded like not to into phonecalls...anyways, I called up my GrandPa too. Hope he is feeling better now after the last-week-unpleasant incident. I called up some close friends too. I hope everyone well back in Indo. Jeanne, i'll see you in March when I go to Singapore...miss u! Indeed, I do miss all the family gathering and all the cookies on CNY...
Life in general sucks. I never know that i would ask for a 'payback' or let's call it 'something in return'. Am I bad then? hhmm..I feel that no one has really appreciated what i've done. Let's not translate the previous statement literally. I mean, I just feel that I haven't done enough to be 'acknowledged'. I seldom feel the 'take and give' from some people, or should I just stop expecting them to? I feel that, all I've done is good enough, but it's never good enough in others' eyes. The apartment I live in is never 'good' enough to make my Bro want to spend most of his time in the house. The way I try to compromise other people's opinion never seem to be good enough to make them understand that I hate argument. And when I stand up for my voice, my opinion, it actually makes the other party unhappy with my doing which I hate. There are just too much of "well, June will be OK with this, she wouldn't have said No, she wouldn't have minded.." Or maybe I am just being too sensitive of all the things around me. I hate it too when people take me for granted. Just because I don't express my anger/upset all the time, that doesn't mean I do have them.
Dear you: ..don't wanna lose you now..
:June
posted by June at 6:26 PM
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