One sentence is never enough
I stayed over Jen's house yesterday night. Met Jen's mum for the first time. She is not as what I have expected her to be, she is much more loving and such as an easy-going mum. This morning, she drove us all to the Cuckoo restaurant up at Dandenong. It was a nice German buffet restaurant. If only I can eat that much. And that restaurant left me with one thing, I want the Cuckoo clock..it was so classy and cute ;) Went shopping with the girls after the lunch, and guess what, me and Irene bought a CD, with great French Stars of the 30s and 40s, La Vie Parisienne .
Btw, on Thrusday I had lunch with Gavin. The big protective brother. It was a nice feeling, to know what I can actually help him. I am really worried about his Uni work right now, which is 'undone' yet. I hope, I can help..don't want to be too bossy though.
Last Tuesday was Karni's Bday. An unpleasant surprise from her early morning on her Bday. But lucky, in the end the day, the surprise party Jackson has planned worked. Ant, Jimmy and Linda came too. It was good. I do hope, Karni will be more mature in her 21st. Hopefully, she changes gradually, do be less 'unstable' and be more 'loveable'. Ha2. Love her the way she is though.
My feeling now. I think Karma works. Believe it or not. Now, I am experiencing the uncertainty that guys normally feel. You can't clap hands with only one hand. Both hands have to contribute. It's soooooo easy to say, but it's hard to do. I think, I am in a crisis with my own feeling now. I want to believe in my feeling that I like someone, but too afraid to get hurt too. Am I letting myself fall into a hole full of roses with their thorns.
I always want to ask "What am I to U?" while I know the answer to that question. I don't want to be anyone's GF! Not asking for a relationship, though it might seem like it. But I don't! I just need to clarify what's going on. It's not a social responsibility I have to fulfill. It's just a self-justification for myself. I need to know where I stand, and whether I should stand there...or I should 'free' myself? but deep inside my heart, I know I unconciously build my hope. Which I should not be doing right now. I can't ask anyone's help. Who can help me is myself.
June
Btw, on Thrusday I had lunch with Gavin. The big protective brother. It was a nice feeling, to know what I can actually help him. I am really worried about his Uni work right now, which is 'undone' yet. I hope, I can help..don't want to be too bossy though.
Last Tuesday was Karni's Bday. An unpleasant surprise from her early morning on her Bday. But lucky, in the end the day, the surprise party Jackson has planned worked. Ant, Jimmy and Linda came too. It was good. I do hope, Karni will be more mature in her 21st. Hopefully, she changes gradually, do be less 'unstable' and be more 'loveable'. Ha2. Love her the way she is though.
My feeling now. I think Karma works. Believe it or not. Now, I am experiencing the uncertainty that guys normally feel. You can't clap hands with only one hand. Both hands have to contribute. It's soooooo easy to say, but it's hard to do. I think, I am in a crisis with my own feeling now. I want to believe in my feeling that I like someone, but too afraid to get hurt too. Am I letting myself fall into a hole full of roses with their thorns.
I always want to ask "What am I to U?" while I know the answer to that question. I don't want to be anyone's GF! Not asking for a relationship, though it might seem like it. But I don't! I just need to clarify what's going on. It's not a social responsibility I have to fulfill. It's just a self-justification for myself. I need to know where I stand, and whether I should stand there...or I should 'free' myself? but deep inside my heart, I know I unconciously build my hope. Which I should not be doing right now. I can't ask anyone's help. Who can help me is myself.
June
posted by June at 11:01 PM
2 Comments:
Enjoy the feeling of liking someone. Uncertainty do happens,just follow the certain ones. Let the uncertainty solve itself if you think you have tried yr best to dig for e answer.
Love U krystal!! Was so surprised with ur comment that came 1 hour after I posted this entry..Hehe.
Miz Ya!!
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