I still love you

Hi Blog. I haven't been blogging in this blog recently. Been occupied with catch up and other commitment, but then I think, I shouldn't abandon my own blog.

Anyway, some updates:
-I started Uni again yesterday, it's always a great feeling when I start a new thing, although I have to admit, during the self-introduction session in class, while waiting for my turn to introduce myself, I had butterflies in stomach.

-I am currently working on a project (I would love to make it sound more professional than it might be..HAha). A new friend of mine, who appears to be the best man in the wedding I went to earlier this month, has asked me a favor to contribute in his website. What I need to do is to write in the blog section. What I love most of this idea is I actually have the freedom to write anything I like, and it's acknowledged (by whoever's reading).

-Struggling with my feeling at the moment. I am happy yet I have this doubts. Can anyone convince me or tell me 'June, everything's gonna be OK'..?

-I had few disagreements, dramas, conflicts last week with my friends, people I love. It was so stressing. Stronger, that's all it will make me..ALways have this questions about 'take and give' that applies in any friendship or any kind of relationship..

:June

Once in a while I...

When you want something to work out, you need the effort. And if the effort is only one way, it can hardly work. I feel like, all the things i build, all the things i've done to make people happy but myself is bringing me down soon.

My Chinese New Year this year wasn't that bad. Although I didn't have the chance to spend it with the family back in Indo, I am glad that I spent it with my "family' in Melbourne. On the night before the Chinese New Year, we all had this Steam-boat at QV. My beloved extended QV family, my little Brother who is now already 18, and my plus-one. We didn't start the dinner until 9.15pm because one of the QV people, Dina, worked that night. And everyone decided to wait for her. =) That what I love about QV. We share love. When we need to be flexible, when we need to compromise and maybe sometimes make sacrifices, we do. All these will last only for a while. Some people are planning to go back for good after their graduation this year. And QV people will have to move too when their contract for the least of that apartment finishes. All I wanna do now is Cherish every moments I have with these people who become my 'family'.

Anyway, on the Chinese New Year, I went to temple in the morning. I wish it's my self-initiative, but it's actually not. HHmm...actually it's 50 50. HHmm..in the afternoon, the QV people and some friends went to have lunch at Dragon boat . We ate Yum Cha. I love the gathering. I love the atmosphere, not so much the glamour of this CNY celebration. On that day, it was too hot to go out after the Yum Cha. Thus, we ended up in QV, enjoyed the Air-Con, and just spent time chatting, hanging out with friends. I made a lot of phone calls too. I called up my mum and dad (sister too), a few times actually, but they sounded like not to into phonecalls...anyways, I called up my GrandPa too. Hope he is feeling better now after the last-week-unpleasant incident. I called up some close friends too. I hope everyone well back in Indo. Jeanne, i'll see you in March when I go to Singapore...miss u! Indeed, I do miss all the family gathering and all the cookies on CNY...

Life in general sucks. I never know that i would ask for a 'payback' or let's call it 'something in return'. Am I bad then? hhmm..I feel that no one has really appreciated what i've done. Let's not translate the previous statement literally. I mean, I just feel that I haven't done enough to be 'acknowledged'. I seldom feel the 'take and give' from some people, or should I just stop expecting them to? I feel that, all I've done is good enough, but it's never good enough in others' eyes. The apartment I live in is never 'good' enough to make my Bro want to spend most of his time in the house. The way I try to compromise other people's opinion never seem to be good enough to make them understand that I hate argument. And when I stand up for my voice, my opinion, it actually makes the other party unhappy with my doing which I hate. There are just too much of "well, June will be OK with this, she wouldn't have said No, she wouldn't have minded.." Or maybe I am just being too sensitive of all the things around me. I hate it too when people take me for granted. Just because I don't express my anger/upset all the time, that doesn't mean I do have them.

Dear you: ..don't wanna lose you now..

:June

Quick post when my Bro's showering

Great birthday, great guests!
Last Saturday was my little Bro's 18th Birthday...HAha..now he is officially 'legal'. We reserved a restaurant, Wagamama, with Japanese cuisine served. HHmm.It's OK. I didn't remember the taste of the food though, coz I was busy making sure that everyone was OK with their meals and if they enjoyed their time. HHmm..As always happen, I worry too much sometimes. HAhaa..anyway, There were 15 people including some of Jef's (my Bro) friends, the beloved QV people, housemate, Me and Shanen. (Dear Shanen: ..Thanks soooo much..) ANyway, on the night, my Bro was 'bullied', it was what they claimed as 'Sabo'. HHmm...He got tied to a chair, and basically idle and couldn't go anywhere. And the fun part was having him 'unable to do anything but keep cool', people started to draw some make up on his face. Hahaha...I pitied him, but at the same time I enjoyed the 'show'. Coz although I would want to stop them from 'bullying' my Bro, I really couldn't do anything (there were way too many people). Anyway, Happy Birthday Bro! Wish U older yet wiser!

Sunday night, 4th Feb, I went to have a little picnic at Fitzroy garden. There was a free Latin dance show. Hhmm..invented by Jen. There were heaps more people than the last time I went with Jen, Shannon and Sandy. Anyway, it's always fun. As always, I went to Nandos to get some 1/2 price chickens =) Jen brought some wine too, which is nice though I couldn't drink. HHm..That night, there were me, Jen, her Mum and Shannon. I love the company. Always like to cherish the moment as though I spend it with my own 'family'.

QV update.
Lately, my Bro is back to QV again, after the long journey of 'seeing his someone'. I am happy that he is back, but at the same time, I hope no one is hurt/sad about this drastic change. All I want to say, it's good when you have a 'balanced' life between family and friends. So, no one is taking anyone for granted. I am grateful to know that I never sort of really 'fight' or confront my Bro at the wrong time. Coz I know it will probably turn out to be a real disaster in the Bro-Sis relationship if I 'scold' him everytime he 'disappoints' me. HHmm...QV people are so like a family to me here in Melb. I can't thank them enough everytime they are always there when I need them, and everytime I need people to 'look after' my Bro.

:June