My mum and Dad are coming

Guess what, after years of hoping that my parent (both of them) would come to Melbourne. At last, they are actually coming. Exactly 1 week from now. I am glad and do welcome them. However apparently the reason is not me.

I feel distance from everyone at the moment. Though I have these all great friends around me, I feel I could have done more for them. I could have appreciate them more instead of worrying too much about me and my life and unconciously I am 'ignoring' them. As much as I want to know about their updates, but most of the time I get distracted with my problem. I am sorry! We are not physically distant, but I feel mentally distant. Like now, I am sitting in front of my computer, but I don't feel like I am connecting myself with my Bro who is always busy with the computer (we hardly talk now) and my housemate who is talking on the phone.

Maybe I shouldn't be hoping that much. Becoz by hoping, I will get hurt again. I don't want to be too-good with anyone right now. Coz I am sick of being loved. And I hate to love coz I will end up getting hurt.

I do want to recover!

:June

OUch..

Why she gets him but I ...?
I have a hell out of life. All I wish to have is a balanced happy life.
I do realised though I withdraw myself from everyone around me. Sorry..I never mean to change..

Judgment
Yeah..there is a saying, "you don't just the people you love, you support them regardless"..

Intimacy
Also this "All of us, without exception, have difficulty with intimacy, and over time, we will either move forward or drift backward in this dimension" (Harriet Goldhor Lerner)

others..
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" (Eleanor Roosevelt)

Conflict with my Mum
"It ain't what you say, but how you say it" (Anonymous)

#2 Dear: you (in Melbourne)
What's with the random call, and 'Morning glory' and looked up for your Bro's GF present?
What's with the gift wrapping and movie afterwards?
What's with the online sharing-life-story chatting on MSN?
What's with the rialto, the 22nd birtday surprise?
What's with the Borders reading-comics session?
What's with the State Library, feed the bird with burger buns?
What's with the luncheon at Crown seafood buffet?
What's with the you and my bday dinner at SOS?
Was it only becoz of the 'drink'? Or just about the 'no-connection'?
What's with the ..
I didn't know when it started ..and clearly didn't know when it actually ended. Apparently, it has.
Another disappointment indeed.

:June