Whataver you like

Emotionally unstable. One day, I can be sooo flattered and happy, and one day I can be mentally drained. I need to be in control of my emotions. I am always in control of the things I want to be in control of, but now, I seem to slowly lose the grip. Can't let that happen though. My Uni has started, 3 weeks have gone so quickly. I am still catching up with the weekly readings. I really want to do good this time. Can't effort any failure. My future plan need to be strategically planned this time. And No more game playing. Need to achieve the goals in life. Not gonna let anybody screw my plans. Slowly, I will get whatever I have been procastinating.

Inability to communicate sometimes frustrates me. There is a slight potential of mis-trust, mis-understanding, mis-judgement, and so on. "confused with what to/NOT to do..to be/NOT to be part of..to/NOT to move forward" (anonymous, 2007)

NB: Beautiful Lily in the beautiful vase in your house, nicely located close to the window so that it gets the constant sunshine to stay alive, significantly it needs regular watering system by the owner to blossom in upcoming spring.

:June

Cynicism

There are things which need to be done, and they are done.
Finally, I moved in to the new apartment at Docklands. Now I have my own room, and my brother has his. The whole process had been frustrating. often, I jumped into my own conclusions and I got pissed off. Now I know, I can never depend on anybody BUT myself. However, there are still things that are not quite right yet in this new apartment. My housemate is still staying with me and my Bro. Temporarily he stays in the living room until he finds his new place. Thus, it isn't a ideal home I would have imagined it to be. Well...I hope it is soon, then I could really have it the way I want it to be.

I have been cynical too lately. I have changed. I couldn't care less about others who don't really care about how to value others. If they demand something, I could do the same thing too, can't I? I will not let others make me think that I am less good as a friend, as a sister, as a housemate, as an ex (gf or housemate), or as a friend's friend, etc. I remember once (or actually few occassions) when people tell me that I need to stand up for myself, be more firm, and do not let other 'dominate' me. When I think about it, it's true. I don't have to be nasty, I just have to have others respect your decisions. At this point, I realise, there is no point to keep trying to keep others happy, because no one can please everybody. Often, you will have disappointed somebody else. As long as I've tried your best to please them, aligning this attempt with what I feel like doing, it's good enough. It is hard to retain relationship. Thus, if I have tried, and it doesn't work with them, it's their lost.
(PS: 12.08.07)

:June